It's been 7 weeks today since my other half has been working. He has been putting applications in, going to interviews, and everything we can think of. For some reason he still hasn't snagged onto a job yet so now we are thinking about relocating. This is going to be hard not only physically, but mentally, especially on me. There's all kinds of questions/ concerns plaguing me on this decision.
A few years ago I gave up my house (that was paid for), my job, my friends and everything to relocate for a guy who I thought I was in love with. In less than a year, that guy caused a lot more heartache, bills that piled up over three grand and the loss of all our belongings when we were moving back to my hometown.
From there, I went on a downward spiral, being homeless with 4 kids, no job, no insurance or legal tags on my vehicle to look for a job. Then the most crushing experience happened as well. My children were taken by the CPS division of SRS. I fought for four long years to get my children back while working, going to school, therapy sessions (for me and them), looking for a house, doing remodeling work once we found a house, and still didn't do enough to get them back.
Now here it is 2011 and we may have to move, only this time further away from my comfort zone. Which means leaving the area where I am close to my kids, leaving my job where I love to work since I haven't gotten to know the family personally, leaving my *almost paid for home*, and all my friends. I'm so lost at this moment in time.
I know that we will make it once we move. That's not the doubts in my mind. The doubts that keep racing through is, what if something happens to one of my kids? my dad? my friends? What if everything changed once we get out there, on his turf, so to speak? What if he can't find a job out there either? Then we are still stuck at square one.
What is one to do? So many questions ... So many thoughts ... So much stress ...
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